The Grass Isn't Always Greener
by SisiDraig
Summary: Vince has finally achieved his lifes goal of becoming a rock star... but will it make him truely happy?
1. Chapter 1

**Okay, by way of explanation/ apology: This was originally meant to be a script and therefore it will become a little bit of 'death by dialogue' but i have tried to adapt it as much as possible. Also this is very different to my first story and i feel that i've more stolen Vince and Howard's names rather than their characters. However, don't judge all that. Judge the story. Sisi xx**

**Disclaimer: Quite clearly i do not own the Boosh. If i did own the Boosh I wouldn't be here writing this, I'd be out there writing a (what is bound to be) fantastic stage show.**

* * *

Unbelievable! Vince had finally made it. How many years had Vince introduced himself as 'Vince Noir, Rock and Roll star'? and now it was true. He was still the flighty, mad and slightly childish Vince he had always been but now he used words like 'chillax' and said 'oh - my - god' a lot. Howard and concluded he was turning into a male version of Paris Hilton and all he needed now was a Chihuahua in a handbag.

"OH - MY - GOD!" yelled Vince walking through the door of the flat. "you will _never _guess who I saw today in Camden."

"Who?" said Howard frowning slightly.

"Gary Numan" grinned Vince "and do you know what's even better?"

"What?"

"He's in town to see me." Howard looked up too see Vince grinning stupidly with Chihuahua in a bag slung over his shoulder. That was the final straw. Howard threw down the pen he'd been chewing and stormed into his room.

Vince, confused, went to follow Howard just as his phone buzzed.

"Hello?"

"Vince. It's Scotty. You have _got_ to get yourself to the Velvet Onion."

"Why?"

"We're having a party to celebrate you being asked to headline Glastonbury."

"…but I don't know if I'm going to do it yet. You know how I hate getting my clothes messy."

"Just get to the party!"

"ummmm…" said Vince looking guiltily at Howard's door . "Okay, I'll be there in five."

As Vince walked through the door to the Velvet Onion the DJ stopped the music and the party erupted into a long drawn out cheer. Vince bowed, twirled and grinned, lapping up the attention. The party buzzed and Vince enjoyed signing the autographs and receiving the complements

"Vince, I love your hair." - "It's root boosted. Good isn't it?"

"Vince, your latest song was amazing." - "Let's hope it goes to number one?"

"Vince, where d'you get your shirt from?" - "Topshop"

"Vince, You are brilliant!" - "Thanks so are you."

"Vince, you look so cool." - "Thanks."

"Vince, here's my number ring me." - "Ummm, okay. Maybe"

Vince, Vince, Vince, Vince.

Vince bounced around like a kid in a sweet shop. He was in his element, free drinks and free complements. It couldn't get any better. So, why did he feel so down? It couldn't be. Surely. He wasn't worried about Howard, was he? That jazz-freak was fine, he was probably sat at home arranging and re-arranging his jazz collection. Content with that thought, Vince went back to enjoying his party. Although he looked happy he couldn't quite shake off that nagging feeling.


	2. Chapter 2

Howard sat at home arranging and re-arranging his jazz collection, it was what he did when he was lonely. Though Vince didn't realise this. Vince had always assumed Howard enjoyed the combination of organising and jazz. Howard finished placing them in alphabetical order and took a step back to admire his work. Then, with a heavy sigh he stepped forward and began to put them in order of release. Before he knew it Howard was fighting back the tears. What was wrong with him? He'd often sat at home whilst Vince was at a party, so what was different about this time? He was just being stupid. 'Sober up Howard,' he thought 'you've got to be stronger than this.' But however hard Howard tried it wasn't long before the tears were forcing their way down his cheeks. His vision became so blurry that he had to stop arranging and sobbing loudly he went to lie on his bed.

Howard stared at the ceiling. Where was Vince? At a party, he knew that. But that's not what he meant. He meant the real Vince, the flighty, scatter-brained, slightly childish electro-fairy. He didn't like this famous, rock and roll Vince. Howard had recently found himself thinking of his life as something like watching a video. Soon, maybe tomorrow or the next day, he'd take the video out and return to his normal life. He would go back to sharing some banter with his best mate behind the shop counter and although Vince would undoubtedly make more money than Howard, that was okay, because at least Vince would talk to him and treat him as an equal (well, maybe not equal, but he'd never felt like a piece of chewing gum Vince had stood in and couldn't quite get rid of). This wasn't the way it was meant to be. It was supposed to be Howard and Vince, Vince and Howard, best friends forever, like they were when they were kids.

"Hey, Howard." said Vince poking his head around the door "Just to let you know I'm back."

"Okay," said Howard a little to shakily.

"You okay?" asked Vince noticing the strangled tone.

"Of course." said Howard clearing his throat "I'm fine." Then noticing the time he said "bit early isn't it?"

"Yer, the party was a bit rubbish and anyway Michelle needs food."

"Michelle?" said Howard sitting up angrily "Who's Michelle?"

"My dog."

"So, you haven't brought anyone back with you."

"No."

"Good, I'm not having you and your friends messing up my nice clean flat."

"Oh calm down Howard. You're all tense. You'll give yourself _even more _lines by your eyes you know."

"Thank you Vince, thank you so much." snapped Howard angrily. Vince grinned and said

"You know, I missed you tonight. It wasn't the same without you nagging me to leave."

Howard smiled to himself.

"Howard?"

"Yeah."

"You will come to Glastonbury with me, won't you? I don't want to go on my own."

"Of course little man. I just didn't think you'd want me to come."

"Oh Howard, I could always do with a geography-teacher-look-a-like at my side. And where else am I going to find one of those, eh?"

"Well, I guess I'd better go then. Now, go away. _Apparently, _I need my beauty sleep."

"'kay Howard, sweet dreams."

Vince shut the door quietly. Then smiled at the four girls that were waiting in the kitchen.

"Right, everyone into my room for spin the bottle." he grinned cheekily.


	3. Chapter 3

**Thank you for all your reviews, they are wonderfull. Please be as honest as you can. I realise the chapters are short and the story is moving on quite slowly so i'm trying to update as quickly as possible. Thanks for reading. Sisi xx**

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The next morning, Howard sat at the kitchen table excitedly writing a list of things to take to Glastonbury and writing a separate list of things Vince would need to take to Glastonbury. Howard heard the door open,

"Are we going to be in a tent at Glastonbury or staying in a hotel?"

"I'm not going to Glastonbury, honey. But if you're offering I wouldn't say no."

Howard jumped and looked up to see four girls who were wearing too much make-up and too few clothes. 'Welcome to Vince's new life.' thought Howard angrily. However, he was used to this charade by now and offered the girls breakfast.

"No thank you, honey. We better be getting back home."

"Suit yourself." frowned Howard and went back to writing his list.

"You gonna show us to the door, sweetie."

"Nope." said Howard calmly screwing up his list for Vince and throwing it at the bin and missing by full yard..

"Fine then" said one of the girls huffily and the four of them tottered towards the door.

Howard sighed exasperated. He was getting sick of Vince's new lifestyle. No, he was getting sick of having Vince's new lifestyle thrust upon him. Almost an hour later Vince skulked guiltily out of his room.

"Morning Howard," he said gruffly.

"Vince" nodded Howard curtly.

"Howaaaaaaard?"

"Yes, Vince."

"I'm sorry"

"For what?"

"I don't know… you just look annoyed."

"Oh, your picking up on that are you?"

"Well, yeah. I mean we are best friends."

"Are we? Are we really? Because I'm not really feeling that at the moment. You've got your friends and I've got mine, well I've got Lester, but we're not best friends anymore. It's not like it used to be Vince. We're not kids anymore. I can't let you walk all over me anymore. I mean you earn all that money and you still can't afford rent. You spend all your money on clothes. You don't care about me anymore. You don't care about anyone but yourself and I'm sick of it!"

"Howard?" Vince sniffed tearfully "You don't mean that."

"I do Vince. I've had enough. Get out!"

"b-but…"

"but nothing. Get out."

Vince blinked in devastated confusion. He wiped his tears in his sleeves and sobbed

"You say that I don't care about you and we're not best friends anymore… but I only wanted one person by my side at Glastonbury Howard. Just know that." and with that Vince slammed the door and disappeared down the street.

Howard immediately felt guilty. Why had he shouted at Vince? What was wrong with him? Vince hadn't really changed. Not enough for Howard to chuck him out. Why had he become _so_ angry when he'd seen those girls leaving Vince's room? He hated Vince for being popular. He hated Vince for being famous. He hated Vince for everything that he had achieved but he loved Vince because, despite it all, Vince still chose Howard. He still wanted to share a flat with Howard. He still chose Howard to go with him to Glastonbury. But now Howard had ruined it all. Was this the end of Howard and Vince, Vince and Howard?


	4. Chapter 4

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I promised a rapid update and here it is.

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Vince scoured the streets for somewhere to go. He felt like a tramp. A fashionable, famous tramp, but a tramp none-the-less. Problem was, however, Vince wasn't a tramp and that meant people knew who he was.

"Hey, Vince. You off too some cool party?" - "No, leave me alone."

"Vince, Vince. Aren't they the clothes you were wearing yesterday?" - "I dunno, am I?"

"Vince! Vince! Oh my god it's you! Are you crying?" - "No! Go away."

"Vince. Is that a new hairstyle?" - "No, I forgot to do it this morning."

"Vince. Are you okay? You look hungry!" - "I'm fine."

"Vince, when's your next gig?" - "I don't know."

Vince, Vince, Vince, Vince.

"ARGH!" Vince suddenly exploded. "LEAVE ME ALONE EVERYBODY!" He started to run down the street like a demented banshee. Everyone on the road turned to look at him and he suddenly felt as though he had no escape. He'd always loved the attention from being famous but he also loved going home, to the flat. When he was alone with Howard and not be on show anymore. It was time when he could relax. But without Howard Vince realised he was living life in a fishbowl, he was on display with no way out. He hated Howard. Why had he kicked him out? What had he done wrong? Why now when he needed him more than ever?

Unbeknownst to Howard, Vince had started to have an absence of faith. He'd begun to doubt whether he wanted to be this 'new Vince' because underneath that confident exterior was a childlike need to be loved and cared for. Vince had been close three times now to packing in the stardom and returning to the shop, but the prospect of playing Glastonbury had reminded him why he loved to perform. But what had made Vince more happy was that he could share it with Howard. However, now it seemed Howard wasn't interested anymore. Though Vince couldn't understand why not? Hadn't he and Howard always shared that banter but at the end of the day if anything was seriously bad they'd be there for each other and that was all Vince needed to feel safe. Now his safety net was gone. Howard was gone. Everything that was the old Vince was gone.

* * *

It was almost a month since Howard had last seen Vince. Within a few days Howard had worked himself into a frenzy. He still had no idea where Vince and he wasn't answering his phone. This was all Howard's fault. If only he'd been more patient. He was about to see Vince for the first time in far too long and he felt a fluttery excitement in his stomach. It didn't matter that it was only on TV he was about to see Vince. He flicked it on. Vince should be onstage any second now, he thought.

"And now…" said the presenter "we're going over to the main stage and it's Vince Noir." The screen flicked to a brightly lit stage with lots of good looking dancers wearing sparkly clothes. 'Typical Vince' thought Howard with a small smile.

"Hiya everyone. I'm Vince Noir, rock and roll star. This song is dedicated to my best friend. He knows who he is." Howard glowed with pride as Vince started to sing. Howard knew he'd messed up but Vince had obviously forgiven him. It was time to go to Glastonbury, it was time to make things right again.

* * *

**I know it's short again but the next one will be longer.**


	5. Chapter 5

"Vince. You were fantastic darling. Brilliant. Fabulous. Loved the dedication as well. That's really got the tabloids speculating." smiled his manager, a woman with blonde hair and bright red lips.

"Well, that's what you said would happen." smiled Vince "That's why I did it."

"Well I still think it was brilliant."

"It was your idea." laughed Vince

"Well then, I'm brilliant." said the woman casually "But you carried it off wonderfully. Very believable. I almost found myself believing it and I know it wasn't real. Although, I think if you'd have dedicated it to a special lady there would have been more media uproar. Maybe that's an idea for next time."

"I'll be sure to keep it in mind."

"Now, you going back to your hotel?" smiled the woman.

"Yeah, yeah.""Okay, are you going to be needing room service?"

"I dunno yet."

"Well give me a ring if you do."

"Why can't I just give the reception a ring?"

"Well, whichever is easier. See you later Vincey. Mwah Mwah!"

Vince led on the king-sized bed staring at his plasma screen in the ceiling. He was fed up. This wasn't Glastonbury. He had intended to stay in a tent in the mud with the fans but when he couldn't get anyone to stay with him his manager had told him that it was totally out of the question. So Vince Noir, the sunshine kid, was sat like a miserable old man. He wanted to cheer himself up, maybe he could throw a party. Then he realised he had no one to invite. He sighed heavily and closed his eyes.

Vince was woken a few hours later as a ringing phone ripped through his peaceful slumber. He fumbled about until he picked up the receiver.

"Hello?" he said groggily.

"oh, hello Mr Noir I have a… man hear who swears he knows you. He says that he's the guy you dedicated the song too. Shall I send him up?"

"Yeah, definitely." said Vince waking up properly now. It was Howard. It had to be Howard. Howard had seen his dedication and was on his way. Vince ran to the bathroom and splashed water on his face. He root boosted his hair and fluffed and fiddled with it until it looked perfect.

Knock knock.

Vince practically ran to the door. He'd open the door. He'd hug Howard (Howard will hate that Vince giggled to himself) then he'd drag Howard in and have a proper catch up. He straightened his clothes. Turned the lock and flung open the door.


	6. Chapter 6

"Oh - my - god!" shouted Scotty, "How are you?" Vince couldn't help but look disappointed. "Sorry, were you expecting someone else?" asked Scotty looking hurt.

"Well, yeah actually." smiled Vince "but d'you know what, you're much more fun." he lied.

"Naturally" beamed Scotty in an overly camp way. "Look at all these clothes." said Scotty looking around the room as he entered. . "Vince darling, I know I've asked you before but, you sure you're not gay?" Vince found this really hit a nerve.

"Scotty, I don't fancy you." explained Vince for the hundredth time.

"Shame."

"I don't know why you always ask."

"Well, I can just see it in your eyes."

"See what?"

"Nothing" smiled Scotty mysteriously. Vince cocked an eyebrow and Scotty giggled "You were good tonight."

"Thanks" sighed Vince heavily.

"Look, you really didn't want to see me at the door did you?"

"Of course."

"Vince. Don't lie to me. I'm gay, not stupid."

"Maybe I was hoping for an old friend." Vince smiled coyly

"Any _friend_ in particular?"

"Howard."

"Ah, the famous Howard."

"I don't talk about him that much do I?"

"No! Only once or twice…every minute…every hour… everyday."

"Alright, alright." laughed Vince "I just haven't seen him in a while and I miss him that's all."

"Woah honey! You just sent my gaydar off - the - scale!"

"Shut up Scotty."

"I'm being serious. You in love with this guy?"

"No! We're just friends."

"Yeah, that's how me and by first boyfriend started and before you know it, it's kisses at sunset and voila, love is in the air."

"Well, that's not going to be me and Howard. You should see him. He's so far from being gay it's unreal."

"So maybe it _is_ unreal."

"Scotty, stop messing with my head."

"So you've thought about it then"

"Scotty!" said Vince losing his temper

"Okay, okay. I've dropped it."

Knock Knock

"Hey, you don't think that's him do you?" giggled Scotty.

"It's probably room service." sighed Vince, getting up and lumbering to the door. He opened it slowly and stared in disbelief.

"Hi Vince."

* * *

"Howard? What are you doing here?"

"I saw you on TV and I realised that it's been too long."

"Vince, who is it?" shouted Scotty

"Oh," said Howard looking immediately at his feet "you're with someone. I mean you're Vince Noir and it's it 1 am, of course you're with someone."

"No Howard" said Vince. "He's just a friend. He's leaving now."

"What's this?" smiled Scotty appearing at the door. "Oh, Hello. You must be Howard? You know Vince he's quite cute in a trampy sort of way."

"Thanks" said Howard scathingly. Then he caught Vince's eyes and smiled.

"Oh - my - god!" screamed Scotty "the sexual tension is killing me. Just kiss already."

Vince shifted uncomfortably.

"Neither of us is gay, sir." said Howard.

"Course not." smiled Scotty sceptically "right, I'd better go. Bye Vince. Your show was wonderful. Mwah."

"Bye" said Vince and then as Scotty was out of sight he gave Howard a big hug.

"Woah there sir." said Howard "Don't touch me."

"Howard, shut up and hug me back." For the first time in his life Howard let his guard down and hugged the smaller man tight.

"So how have you been?" asked Vince showing Howard into the hotel room. The men sat up all night talking and laughing about what had happened in the time they'd been apart. Vince felt like he'd returned home for the first time in a long while. He felt comfortable. He felt like himself.


	7. Chapter 7

**Okay, longer chapter this time. I've finished writing the story now so I can update as quickly as you guys want. Keep reviewing that's why I keep writing.**

**Thanks for reading. Sisi xx**

Vince came crashing through the door of the flat.

"SHHHHH!" he hissed loudly at the door as he promptly fell over a plant pot. Smash went the table as one of his flailing arms crashed into it breaking it in half.

"SHHHHHHH! You'll wake Howard!" shouted Vince again.

"Vince?" said Howard appearing out of his room rubbing his bleary eyes. "What are you doing?"

"Oh! You woke Howard!" said Vince angrily to the plant.

"Vince, you're drunk."

"No I'm not." said Vince standing up indignantly and then flopping on to the floor in a heap. He began to giggle uncontrollably.

"Vince" sighed Howard walking over to the smaller man and hauling him to the sofa. Vince was still giggling and shushing everything that made even the slightest noise. Howard placed a blanket over Vince and then smiled at him as his eyes closed.

"Howard?" whispered Vince sleepily

"hmm?"

"I love you."

"Night, little man."

The next morning Howard crept quietly into the living room. He looked over to where Vince was just starting to stir. He looked so helpless and pathetic that Howard couldn't help but smile.

"Couldn't be a little quieter could you Howard?" moaned Vince grabbing his head.

"To be honest Vince I'm not sure I can." laughed Howard "Where were you last night?"

"New club in town. It was horrible. I had to do a few songs."

"So, what was horrible?"

"I had to do some songs"

"And what, they didn't like them?"

"Are you kidding? They were lapping it up like thirsty puppy's."

"Sorry Vince, what exactly was the problem?"

"I didn't want to sing."

"You feeling alright."

"Well, I've got a blistering headache and…"

"Apart from the hangover."

"oh yer, I'm fine."

"So why didn't you want to play?"

"I don't know. Didn't feel right."

"Right." said Howard sceptically, going to make them both breakfast. A nice piece of toast and some butter for Howard and a glass of water and a Paracetamol for Vince.

After a few slow and whingeing hours Vince started to feel better. Howard was pleased, he hated Vince being down but if he was honest he quite enjoyed looking after him. Howard would look after Vince for as long as Vince needed. In fact he'd been so pleased to find that Vince had come home alone last night that he would happily do anything for him this morning.

After a while, Vince began to take advantage of Howard's generosity and started to give him more and more obscure demands.

"Howard, can you get me a glass of water?"

"Howard, can you get me a Flirtiny?"

"Howard, can you get me a cactus?"

"Howard, can you get me a sombrero from Mexico?"

"Howard, can you get me a jumbo jet?". Eventually Howard told him to get lost. Vince giggled to himself as Howard stormed off to his room to listen to jazz.

Half an hour later Vince decided to go and cheer Howard up. He went to his room and knocked on the door. Then without waiting for the reply he bounded in. He looked around but Howard wasn't there. He looked around the rest of the house but couldn't see him anywhere. He must have gone out shrugged Vince sitting back down on the sofa. No sooner than he turned the TV on there was a huge cheer from outside. Vince walked over to the window and peered out.

"There he is!" shouted someone from the crowd. "Never mind the old guy, it's Vince Noir! In the window, look." With that they let go of what Vince could see was Howard as he rushed frantically to the door. Vince gave the crowd a tired little wave and then shut the blind turning to see Howard with a ripped jacket and scruffy hair. Vince failed to stifle a laugh and Howard glared at him. Then Vince noticed something more than just anger in Howard's eyes

"Howard? Are you okay?"

"Yes." snapped Howard "I'm fine."

"liar" smiled Vince cheekily "have you been crying?"

"no." choked Howard the tears welling up in his eyes.

"Howard?" Vince gulped reaching out to touch his arm "You can tell me."

"No, Vince. I'm just not feeling very well. I'm going to my room." Vince went to talk but nothing came out. He had no idea what to say and as Howard shut his door Vince could clearly hear Howard crying.

Vince didn't know what to do. Howard was always so strong and stable all the time. What was Vince supposed to do? Then he heard a particularly loud sob from Howard's room and realised he couldn't wait anymore. He knocked on the door. There was no answer.

"Howard?" he called softly. No answer.

"Howard, you okay?" the reply came in the form of a loud sob. Right, that's it thought Vince and he opened the door.

Vince hadn't been sure what he had expected but it _certainly_ wasn't what he saw. It took a few moments for his eyes to adjust to the darkness and even longer for him to spot Howard who was hunched in the corner.

"Howard, what's wrong?…Howard? Talk to me."

"I'm lonely Vince."

"What?" asked Vince surprised. Howard didn't get lonely he was alone because he chose to be. Howard turned to look at him, tears in his eyes.

"Vince," he whispered "It's all getting too much for me. I-I… lo…" A loud cheer from outside cut through his words. "Listen to them," he said growing angry "They love you."

"They don't love me." sighed Vince

"They do! They copy your fashion trends. They listen to your songs. They worship the ground you walk on!"

"That's not love! You should no that better than anyone."

"But at least they notice you. No one notices me."

"I notice you."

"You don't count."

"Why not?" asked Vince offended.

"Oh Vince. I just want to be loved."

"_I_ love you."

"No, I mean _really_ loved. I want someone to spend my life with. Someone who's there for me, good times and bad. Someone to hold at night. Someone to hold me. Someone to grow old with. Someone who loves me for me."

"I love you Howard. Always have…always will. Come on, think about it. If I didn't you'd have been long gone. It's not really cool to be seen with a tall jazzy northerner, however hard I try to make it so. Everyone tells me to leave you behind, but I can't Howard. I can't because I love you. And not in the way I love sweets or even Gary Newman. I love you for you. I want to spend my life with you I want everything you just said. And I want you to want it too."

"Vince." Howard said softly "I'm so sorry. I'm not gay."

"b-but…but…" Vince stammered wide eyed and confused "But Scotty said, he was so sure that you were…"

"Sorry. You're my best friend and you always will be but I…"

"So why are you so jealous when I bring girls home, eh?"

"Oh Vince," said Howard sorrowfully "I'm wasn't jealous of them."

"But, you said… he said." sobbed Vince heavily

"Vince. Please don't cry" said Howard reaching out a sympathetic arm.

"Don't touch me!" shouted Vince "Don't you ever touch me. I hate you. It's your fault I feel like this."

"Like what?"

"Lonely."

"But you're always surrounded by people."

"Yer Howard, but without you, surrounded by all those people is the loneliest place in the world." sobbed Vince running out of the bedroom door.

He took off down the stairs and pushed the front door open.

"Look, it's Vince Noir!"

"AHHHHHHH! Vince you're so cool"

"Vince, I want to grow up just like you."

"Vince. Vince. I love you!"

"No you don't" shouted Vince "You don't love me. Nobody does." He pushed through the crowd of people running down the road. Tears ran down his cheeks.

"Vince, come back." shouted Howard out of the window but Vince was to distraught to hear him.


	8. Chapter 8

"Woah, woah, woah. I know you really wanna see me but that's no reason to try and break my door down." said a voice as the door opened. "Vince? Are you crying? what's going on?" Vince stormed though Scotty's flat and into the kitchen.

"You said that Howard loved me. You said! But you were wrong! He's not gay!" yelled Vince through angry tears as Scotty appeared in the doorway looking extremely confused. "He doesn't love me."

"Yes he does." said Scotty confidently

"Are you deaf? He's - not - gay!"

"Vince, darling, he is. Trust me. Did you see how red he went when I suggested you two kiss?… No… course not. You were too busy looking at your Chelsea boots, which were _stunning _by the way. But if you'd looked up you'd have seen him blushing like a beetroot."

"Really?" sobbed Vince drying his eyes. "So why didn't he say it back?"

"He's in denial. It happens _all_ the time. You just need to make him see you've moved on."

"But I haven't moved on."

"Honey, I know that and you know that, but Howard doesn't know that. You tell him you've moved on and he'll soon realise how much he loves you."

"Are you sure that'll work?"

"Nope, but it's worth a try."

"Yeah okay." said Vince and then muttered under his breath "Make Howard jealous, make Howard jealous… Hey, Scotty. D'you fancy posing as my boyfriend?"

* * *

Howard sat at the kitchen table twiddling his thumbs. Vince had been gone about two days and he wasn't answering his phone. Howard was sick of Vince's childish tantrums. As soon as things didn't go Vince's way he'd take off down the street in floods of tears. It was even worse this time though because on this occasion Vince had run off without letting Howard explain. He had so much more to say, so much more to…

"Hey Howard!"

"Vince?" said Howard spinning on his chair to see Vince grinning happily. "Where have you been?"

"Just popped to Top Shop to buy some shoes. Do you like them?" he asked pulling them out of the bag. "You know my fans downstairs are relentless. I got back with new shoes from Top Shop and they were all wearing them."

"Really?" asked Howard sounded distinctly bored.

"Yeah, but that wasn't the only place I went obviously. That wouldn't take me two days, would it?" said Vince.

"Vince, I've seen you shop. It could easily take you two days to pick out shoes."

"Okay but it didn't."

"Fine."

"Don't you wanna know where I was?" asked Vince feeling a little frustrated at Howard's lack of jealousy.

"Okay then, tell me." sighed Howard.

"I was at Scotty's."

"You were where?" Howard sounding suddenly interested.

"Yer, we're going out tonight?"

"Out where? To a club?"

"No, you know 'out'. Cinema's, restaurant."

"A date?"

"Yeah."

"With Scotty?"

"Yeah. It's not a problem, is it?"

"I thought you loved me."

"I've moved on." smiled Vince bouncing off to his bedroom.

As soon as he shut the door Vince felt sick. He hated lying to Howard but if it meant that in the long run he could spend his life with him then it was worth it but it didn't stop it tearing him apart.

Outside Howard was angrily pacing around the kitchen. Vince had moved on. In two days. He didn't believe it. He couldn't believe it. If only he'd spoken sooner. If only he'd stopped Vince from leaving. If only.

"It's too late Howard." he said to himself. "it's too late."

* * *

**Will they wont they?**

**lol xx**


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: Mighty Boosh is still not mine and neither are the songs. The songs are by: Whitney Houston; Bryan Adams; Aerosmith; Snow Patrol and Bon Jovi (I appreciate the Bon Jovi song isn't that famous but it's one of my favourite songs.)**

* * *

A couple of hours later there was a knock on the door. Howard went to open the door.

"Scotty!" said Howard in what he hoped was an upbeat tone. "Come in. Vince is just getting ready."

"Thanks." grinned Scotty stepping through the doorway and walking up the stairs shouting "Vince? Hey gorgeous, you ready?" Howard swallowed his anger and followed Scotty up the stairs. After a few minutes of awkward conversation about the weather Vince's bedroom door opened and he appeared. He looked better than Howard had ever seen him. Howard couldn't help but stare. Vince was blushing.

"How do I look?" he giggled looking at Howard. Howard didn't think he could put into words how amazing he looked.

"You look fantastic!" smiled Scotty "Absolutely beautiful. Like an angel. Like an oil painting. Like an oil painting of an angel." 'Yep that would sum it up' thought Howard furious with himself for not speaking first. "Come on, we better go if we want to make the reservation." said Scotty kissing Vince on the cheek.

"Right, yeah." said Vince snapping out of his daze and walking out of the front door "Bye Howard."

"Hey Howard," said Scotty as he was about to leave "Just remember, it's never too late."

* * *

Howard looked at his watch for the hundredth time since Vince had left. The film would be finishing around now. They were probably sitting down to a meal in a nice restaurant. Enjoying each others company. Chatting about fashion and electro-pop and all the other things that Howard didn't understand. Howard decided to take his mind of it with the radio.

'_And I will always love you__'_

Next channel.

'_Everything I do, I do it for you.__'_

Next

'_Coz I miss you babe and I don__'__t wanna miss a thing__'_

Next

'_If I lie here, if I just lay here would you lie with me and just forget the world__'_

Oh for goodness sake! Was every song going to remind him of Vince? He picked up a CD from the top of the hi-fi.

'_Remember how we used to talk_

_About busting out - we'd break their hearts _

_Together - forever'_

What is this rubbish? Thought Howard. But, even though Howard hated it he couldn't help but feel it was speaking directly to him.

'_Never say goodbye, never say goodbye_

_You and me we are old friends _

_Hoping it would never end_

_Never say goodbye, never say goodbye_

_Holdin' on - we got to try_

_Holdin' on to never say goodbye' _

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**Okay, I'm going away for the weekend so i updated twice. But I may be able to get the next chapter updated tomorrow. **

**Sisi xx**


	10. Chapter 10

**I'd said I'd try and update and i have. woo!**

* * *

The key turned in the lock, Howard looked at his watch. 11:30. He heard Vince creep up the stairs and put his coat over the banister.

"Good time?"

"Ahhhh!" Vince jumped "Jeez Howard, you scared me to death!"

"Sorry." said Howard . Howard was so straight and unmoving Vince couldn't help think he was talking like an emotionless James Bond villain.

"The film was good." said Vince sitting down next to Howard. "And the meal was nice."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. The company was alright."

"Alright?"

"Well, you know… I think me and Scotty are going to stay just friends."

"What was wrong with him?"

"Nothing. He just wasn't… you know." said Vince breaking off into an embarrassed silence.

"Wasn't what?" pressed Howard.

"You." said Vince quietly looking at his lap.

"I thought you'd moved on."

"No. I'll never move on. That was Scotty's idea. He said that if I told you I'd moved on then you'd get jealous and realise you loved me… didn't work though, did it?"

"No," said Howard harshly "What a stupid idea. It was never going to work" Vince could feel the tears welling up behind his eyes. "It would never work because I already knew I loved you."

"What?" blinked Vince "But you said you weren't gay."

"I'm not, I mean I wasn't. I mean… oh, I don't know… it's difficult to explain. It's not men I love, Vince. It's not women. It's you. Just you. No one else matters."

"So why weren't you jealous of the girls?"

"I don't now" smiled Howard "But, if it makes you feel any better I was insanely jealous of Scotty."

"Really?" grinned Vince.

"Oh yer. It took all my effort not to punch him there and then." Vince blushed prettily and then leant forward and kissed Howard on the cheek.

"Is that it?" said Howard with mock anger

"What?" asked Vince

"I tell you I love you and I get a kiss on the cheek. That's not how I imagined this moment."

"And how exactly _did_ you imagine this moment?" smiled Vince coyly.

"In my imagination, it went a little more like this." and with that Howard leant forward and kissed Vince. Vince started to giggle.

"What?" asked Howard pulling back a little angrily

"Your moustache tickles"

"You're such an idiot." frowned Howard

"No, it's good." said Vince pulling at Howard's shirt, "Come here." And with that Howard resumed his kiss with full force. It was better than he'd ever imagined. More perfect than he'd ever imagined. He was more in love than he'd ever imagined it was possible to be.

"Come on." smiled Howard dragging Vince towards his bedroom.


	11. Chapter 11

The next morning Vince was woken by the smell of bacon. He looked to where Howard should be, but in his place was a note.

'Cooking you breakfast. Stay there. I'll bring it to you. H xxx'

"H?" giggled Vince, who did he think he was?

"What are you laughing about?" asked Howard appearing with a full English breakfast.

"Nothing." said Vince sitting up "Is that for me?"

"Yep."

"I don't want it."

"What? Why not?" said Howard looking a little hurt.

"I need to watch my weight for the concert on Saturday."

"What if I _promise_ to help you work it off?"

"Well, when you put it like that." Vince giggled taking a piece of bacon.

"Cheekbone!" said a Ninja at the window. Vince leapt out of bed and raced to the window to get the magazine.

"Hey! Front cover." beamed Vince showing Howard the picture. Vince was there looking perfect, as usual, and behind him, completely obscured by Vince's cape, was Howard. Well, Howard's arm and his left leg. The headline read

"**BRITAIN****'****S HOTTEST NEW COUPLE: Vince Noir and Margret****"**.

Howard raised his eyebrows.

"Who the hell is Margret?"

"I believe that's you." grinned Vince "There's a whole article on me inside. Turn to page 19." Howard did so and saw Vince posing proudly. He looked gorgeous, as usual, with his long black hair and big flamboyant outfit. And in the background Howard, looking like a _complete _idiot; eyes half closed and mouth wide open. The article read:

"**MOST FASHIONABLE MAN OF THE MINUTE : VINCE NOIR****"**

'**Here Vince wears black jeans (£109) a pink glam rock top (£52) and a mystical cape (priceless). Accessories include Lego necklace (£12) and tall jazzy northerner (50p)****"**

"Accessory?!" yelled Howard

"Yeah, you're in fashion"

"50p!?"

"I think you're worth more than that." Vince giggled

"Well, I guess that's all that matters."

"Too right" said Vince placing a gentle kiss on Howard's forehead.

"Right, I've gotta go to work."

"Have you _got_to? Throw a sicky."

"I've never thrown a sicky in my life, sir."

"First time for everything. Anyway, you promised to help me work off this breakfast."

"That _is _true. Okay, I'll ring work and tell them I'm ill. Back in sec."

Vince smiled to himself. This was it. As good as life got. He would never ask for anything more. And with his new love as inspiration Vince set about writing his best album yet.

As Howard walked towards the phone he couldn't stop the grin from spreading across his face. He didn't realised it was possible to be this happy.

Finally, he had everything he'd ever wanted. He found someone to love and someone who'd loved him back. Someone to spend his life with. Someone who will be there for him, good times and bad. Someone to hold him at night. Someone to grow old with and someone who loved him for him.

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**So, there it is, the end. Thank you for reading and for all your reviews so far, they've been lovely.**

**If you enjoyed the story don't forget to leave me a little review.**

**Thank youuuuuu**

**Sisi xx**


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